It's funny.....I've been in my current role in my job for 4 1/2 of my 5 years, and I'm OK with that. Oh, don't get me wrong....I have applied for various positions before, but I know I couldn't handle being a manager, as I'm sure there would be pressure to lose my individual fashion quirks just to "fit into the club", so I opted not to pursue that path again. I thought about being a NOC Analyst, but after one of my friends went in there, and demoted himself back down within a MONTH speaks volumes about the environment in that sector.

I like what I do, and where I'm at. I've been able to speak directly with just about every level of the organization without fear of retribution, and I guess I'm just not as grumpy about when changes take place, because I'm grateful to have a good job.

I know there are those out there who will disagree with me, and that's fine....I don't exoect everyone to agree with me on this. I've been disagrred with before, so it's nothing new.

So I am in my own personal comfort zone. It took me a while to get there, bit I did it.....yes I did!

I used to be in place where I had friends I could go see on a regular basis - had places to go see them, and to explore many things....but I think those days have passed. These days, I go to work, do my good job, and then come home. Family life is good, and I have no complaints about that at all, but one needs friends as well outside of work and family, and those seem to be lacking anymore. Most of have left town, have moved on, have broken off ties, or whatever else may have happened. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I miss Denver - I had a group of friends that I saw, and not just at work.

I appreciate those that I work with - I have no problem there - but outside of those hours, I'm sure they have more interesting things to do than to talk with me, and I don't begrudge them of that one bit. I guess I just miss being able to casually go and talk and be with people - just to enjoy some time and conversation. I guess that's what happens when you get older - the younger set would rather be around their own age, and don't want to be around us older people anymore.

Am I feeling sorry for myself - possibly, but I am a bit depressed right now, as I really don't have anyone who comes by to say hi anymore.

At least I have my health, my family, and my job - maybe that's enough.

I have just random itema of note for now, but better than no update at all - right?

I have a lot of respect for Mari Iijima and Tim Russ - not just for being awesomely talented, but they took the time to do their own webpages. That's something you don't see every day!

I watched the CSI Trilogy 3-part crossover, which was awesome - and yes, I cried at the end - it was that emotional. I know it's a fictional show, but knock it off and let me feel my emotion, dangit.

I'm so anxious to see "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus", you have no idea! I even have a movie buddy to see it with! Oh, and Star Trek came out this week! Score!

I'm cursing my big toe - again. Stupid thing never wants to grow right, so I may need a permanent fix for that. At least it heals up OK each time it's worked on, so it doesn't keep me down long.

Oh, and I'm missing Denver again, so to my friends, if you go there, and feel a shifting in your trunk as you pull out, don't panic....it's just me hitching a ride. ;-)

At least no memory today. I don't always dream in ways I can remember, but every so often, I do. Other times I daydream about things I probably shouldn't write about onlinr, but other times, it's very "Dark City" like, where sometimes things and places make sense...but other times they don't.

I'm feeling good today, but lately, I usually do. I've been out of my shell - as it were - for over a year now. It's helped me relax and feel more at ease with many of my personal issues. I guess you could say I came out of my own little closet, and stayed out this time.

I so neeeeeed to get my boudoir/cave organized and beautified, so it stops looking a mess. I should get to dusting more too.

All good things to come in time.....

I remember some details about last night that stand out......

I was in a building - a hotel I think, but had large Diner signs in neon that featured headshots of Marilyn Monroe. The building had gone through an earthquake, and was falling apart, but the signs had not fallen down - it was like I walked into the building on the ground floor after it had happened. There were people still inside what I think was a bar area, but I had no idea who they were, yet they talked to me. I remember seeing some photos on the wall of old movie stars, and had thought to ask if they wouldn't mind me taking one or two, when I saw they were autographed, and then thought better of it. I was just glad the people were OK.

It struck me as odd that on the upper area of 3 of the walls were the diner signs with Marilyn featured on them - like they should be OUTSIDE, as they were that large, but these were INSIDE, like they had been brought in from somewhere else.

I remember going to another building, but when I went into the door, it went up into a metal room that had a door at the top. It took some effort, but I made it up through the top into a short hallway. The rest of the building was old and made of wood though - it was a clothing shop of sorts that also sold costumes and wigs, but didn't seem like a regular store, but more like a home that was lined with stuff. The owner was doing someone's hair, and she asked me for a towel from the drawer near where I was standing. She said "We like to run a classy establishment", so I found the towel and handed it to her. I didn't see the face too well, but she had long straight black hair with red streaks, much like the wigs in the closet, although the streaks on the ones in the closet were of different colors.

I asked her about the metal room, and she said "Oh, that's the trap." I explained that it had a door in the bottom, and the person in the chair said "Not much of a trap when it has a door in the bottom, is it?". She just looked and said that it was her trap.....not much more explanation than that. I walked out from the building, which the rest was dark wood, and 2 stories tall - the location was all wrong though, as once I was outside, I knew where I was - I was on Minnesota Avenue here in Billings, and where the building was is where the Victorian is now, which looks nothing like where I was - the rest of the area was correct though.

Parts of the dream may have come from other thoughts, such as a clothing store I used to work at, and the Marilyn images may have come from the thought that I was looking for some posters to hang up - but why these places? Was it because of where I was, or where I'll be going? I know we don't get any earthquakes here, so why was the first building, this hotel (?) building in disrepair as if it had been through one...and why were the people still cleaning up on the ground floor, rather than getting out before anything else collapsed? Parts of the walls were gone, and not all of the stairs were there. One of the signs looked like it could fall down at any moment, yet everyone was calm.

Normally, I don't remember much of my dreams, but this one I did. Now to see if it makes any sense, although mine usually don't, but just a voyage through places somewhat familiar, but completely wrong. The last dream I had that I remembered was in black and white, done back in the 50's detective style, and it was in downtown Billings, but....all of the buildings were next to each other on these oversized warehouse racks, and each shelf had more buildings on it. Everyone acted like that was completely normal too.

I finally got around to watching "The Duchess" tonight. It's been on my list of films to watch, and I finally decided that this was the night to do it. It's a great romantic movie about the life of the Duchess of Devonshire, and all the personal battles she went through when it came to duty, love, and power. You couldn't help but feel bad for Georgiana, as even though the Duke could pretty much do as he pleased, she was pretty much powerless, and left to serve him and be the good wife to the public masses. She was definitely full of spirit though.

It's not a movie for everyone, granted, as I'm sure not all of the movies you watch I would like either. I rather enjoyed it though for sitting through it once. Will I see it again? I don't know......maybe.

Now to find another movie on my list.

I think I need to change something, as I've noticed my plumage thinning on top. I've picked up some Rogaine to stem the tide, but going to start taking some saw palmetto to help with it too. Hopefully it'll have some positive impact.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

I can't seem to think of a catchy title for my entry, as I seem to ramble on about the same things most of the time. No sense in letting this page sit idle though.

I had something awesome happen recently - I found that we may be buying the house we're living in. I know you're thinking it's not possible, but it's true! I know....Montana? Well, you go where you can afford to live, and my career is here, so that's why. We'll know when we get our annual tax refund check, so I'll post some updates as that date approaches. I hope it all works out though, as I have some ideas for this house, as well as wanting to get a malamute.

I have confessed to being a hopeless shopaholic fashionista, although my budget doesn't buy much couture these days. I buy what I can afford, yet still looks good. Right now, my current faves are my knee-high black leather 5" boots and 3" hoop earrings (I think they're 3" anyway....). I need to go shopping for more OPI, as some of my current colors are starting to run out. Now that's pretty sad.

So in about 4-5 months, I may be celebrating being at my job for 5 years AND being a homeowner. That's something to look forward to at the least....plus people have grown accustomed to me both at the office and out on the town - or they're just not saying anything.....probably more of the latter to be honest.

I just can't get enough of watching this clip - it's from Season 10 of Friends: "The One With Ross' Grant" Enjoy!

Yeah....by now anyone that knows me - and many that have seen me, know I adore a good pair of heels. I mean, why not? It's just a fashion preference - nothing more. It's no different from those wearing baggy pants or tie-dye t-shirts. It's all about stupid societal stigmas that make people think it's good or bad. I have no intention of turning back now though. Yeah, there are plenty of times when I know I'll be doing a fuckton of walking - then it's flats for me....but otherwise watch out, cuz here I come, strutting down the aisle!

To me, it's as natural as anything anyone else does....there just aren't as many people here doing what I do. That's what makes us all unique in our own way - we all have our own passions and likes. Some have tattoos, some have hair dye, some have a bazillion Swatches - me? Gimme my stylish accessories anyday!